Smella Rosepetal must find a millionaire husband to finance her baby’s heart transplant. She flies home to her deputy father’s ranch in Pitchforks, Texas, where she falls in love with Deadward Forest, a wealthy environmentalist vampire.
When a deranged murderer is on the loose in Pitchforks, killing romance heroines, Deadward assumes Smella would be safer without him. Smella turns to her childhood friend, Snake Long, for comfort. But Snake doesn’t have the money to save her baby, so Smella places herself in peril in a desperate hunt for a rich husband.
Time is running out for Smella’s baby, and she must escape from the Australian Outback and face down Flabio, an overweight and disgruntled, aspiring cover model, plus enraged vampire wives and their homosexual, vampire, cowboy husbands, a jealous were-gerbil, James Bond, a drunk rodeo clown and Smella’s strange boyfriend who wants to drain her blood, yet is repulsed by her smell.
ROMANCE NOVEL—the unabridged, unauthorized comedic look at the bestselling vampire series that will leave you wondering who the hell ever believed vampires could “sparkle.” And you’ll laugh…all the way to the bathroom!
Okay, this book was freakin’ HILARIOUS. It was so funny that I managed to snort juice through my nose and spent a good ten minutes in the bathroom trying to blow it out of my nose. I think that proves just how good this book is. Between the brilliant paraodies of the characters, the shallow Smella Rosepetal, the various useless disguises of Flabio, the disco-dancing Deadward Forest, and the poor baby whose name must have changed at least 50 times, the author did a wonderful job with them! Even though this book was taking the mickey out of the exact genre I write, I couldn’t stop giggling. This book was also written beautifully, and I loved that the author was able to effortlessly blend between narrating, and drawing herself into the story at points as well, with the characters talking about the author herself! The humour wasn’t rushed, and it was a great mixture of dry humour and silly madness.
Wow, okay…um…the only bad point I can think of is that this book wasn’t longer! I got so absorbed in it that I read it in a couple of hours, and it would have been great had it been longer. 😀
The funniest book I have read this year! If you are a paranormal fantasy/romance author like me, I suggest you read it, you will laugh your socks off. And the clichés the book points out, which I had great fun spotting-although hopefully not using much-you will nod at and laugh even harder. If you haven’t read this book, go and get it now, I guarantee you will not be disappointed. 🙂
I give it…..5/5 stars!